6000yrs:

“s2 fix-it fic” “coffee theory” “I’m so mad at Aziraphale!” you are WEAK. angst is flavor. sorry you ruined your appetite on snacks you’re getting a whole MEAL HERE

lunarlagomorph:

I think ive said it before but you really gotta feel bad for oedipus that wanting to fuck your mother got named after him. He really did not want to do that . It is central to oedipus rex how badly he didnt want to do that. Dick move by freud

methed-up-marxist:

It drives me insane how many people dont realise how often they break the law and that if the full force of it was ever applied life would basically be unliveable. Like between traffic violations, petty workplace theft, account sharing and piracy alongside how common it is to have been in posession of some illegal drug at some point in your life. People still manage to get away with thinking “criminals” are people who commit crimes not just populations that are surveilled enough to be routinely prosecuted

t4t-more-like-knowing-my-worth:

was talking to my gf about my fear of dying young for being trans and my mom putting my deadname on my gravestone, and she said “i hope that never happens, but if it does, i will carve your name into your grave myself if i have to.” and i think theres something extremely raw about that sentiment and trans community in general. you can kill only our bodies, but you cant kill transsexuality

impling:

throwtime:

throwtime:

I’m about to have a fun afternoon.

So my trainer’s bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He’s holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him. Which she refuses.

She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial artists, a body builder, and… wait for it…. a Navy seal. We’re gonna go get her shit for her.

This should make for an interesting story.

So everyone who commented on this being like the avengers, you are absolutely right. That’s what all of us had in our heads as we were rolling over to dude’s house. But I’m very proud to say, this ended without violence.

Arrival:

So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebacker’s explorer and headed over to dude’s house. Ok the squad: you all know me, but the other martial artist is a little wirey hapkido guy, the linebackers are all giants (an estimated combined weight of I’d say 750-800lbs), the wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla, then the navy seal looks like your average guy but something about him is unsettling. Really unsettling. Unfortunately, the body builder had to work. Anyway, we send the Hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first and dude answers, screams at them, and then slams the door in their face. Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the door bell again. Lo and behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access. Finally, me and the seal join the fray. I casually make my way towards the front of the group, but the seal decides to CLIMB THE BANISTER. We all just turned and started at him completely shocked when dude answers the door. He looks at this weird mismatched group of relatively threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister like batman. He was like “FINE. Go take what you’re looking for.”

Retrieval:

So we’re all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things and putting them into two boxes. Mind you. We are completely guessing. We didn’t even tell her we were coming, therefore we had no list of items.The only one really being productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff. The linebackers were just randomly picking up furniture, turning it over, and putting it back down. Just showing off how strong they were. In case the numbers game wasn’t enough, I guess they were letting him know they could break him if they wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house. Walking behind him, not saying much, just being creepy. Then there’s me. Who was causing general mischief…. He said to take what I was looking for, that’s what I was looking for. Ahaha and the wrestler made a fricken sandwich. Because “you guys look like you have it under control, and I’m a sucker for egg salad.” We were in and out in 15 minutes.

Delivery:

So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl’s spot. She was conveniently outside when we rolled up. We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other. The truth is, we don’t. She sent us all an email once and didn’t blind copy us all. She vented to all of us about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that. We told her that we went to see her ex. “OMG what did you say to him?” Nothing. We’re not messenger boys. We’re delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of stuff. She went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff. Then she got to my box and asked “Wtf is all that shit.” So I explained that I took all the batteries out of his remote controls, his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet, every pair of dress socks that I could find, the laces out of his running shoes, and all the toilet paper in the house. The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed. She then unexpectedly started CRYING and thanked us. So you have this group of meat heads all standing awkwardly with this weeping trainer. It was quiet for a second when the seal was like “So…. chipoltle?” And we all got burrito bowls.

What a great day.

I was thinking about this story for no reason and decided I should grace you all with it again.

fieldsoftulips:

-ada limón

bearotonin-international:

poetrylesbian:

poetrylesbian:

i am literally about to start weeping over this little bear

look at this baby 😭

you and us both friend

lesbianomens:

Aziraphale + book introduction

epsilon500:

louisegluckpdf:

fucking SICK of dating apps i want to meet someone the old fashioned way (we are forced to share a bed together at the local inn because all the rooms are full and we end up taking quite a shine to each other and decide to seek out employment on a whaling vessel together, unwittingly dooming both of us to a tragic fate)

#they call me ishmael…but you can call me anytime 😎🤙

downwarddnaspiral:

hindahoney:

Because I’m only seeing other Jews posting about this, non-Jews I need you to be aware that for the past month or two there has been a wave of bomb threats and swattings at synagogues all across the US. They usually do it when services are being livestreamed. I haven’t seen a single non-Jew talking about this. High holidays are coming up in a few weeks, which is when most attacks happen against our communities. We’re worried, and we need people to know what’s happening to us.

None of the major news outlets are running it. I had to Google it. Everyone is so distracted by the rest of the nation’s fuckery right now.

https://www.jta.org/2023/08/14/united-states/2-synagogues-evacuated-during-livestreamed-shabbat-services-as-wave-of-bomb-threats-enters-4th-week

https://forward.com/news/557648/bomb-threats-and-swatting-campaign-hits-dozens-of-synagogues/?amp=1

https://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/local/fullerton-synagogue-evacuated-during-sabbath-service-due-to-bomb-threat/3204919/?amp=1

Fullerton synagogue evacuated during Sabbath service due to bomb threat

A Fullerton synagogue was evacuated Saturday following a false bomb threat, bringing a halt to Sabbath service. 

NBC Los Angeles

Bomb threats and 'swatting' campaign hits dozens of synagogues

The synagogue bomb threats and swatting have hit more than 20 synagogues over the past month, according to security experts.

The Forward

2 synagogues evacuated during livestreamed Shabbat services as wave of bomb threats enters 4th week - Jewish Telegraphic Agency

Two congregations in California were among more than 26 that have received bomb threats recently.

Jewish Telegraphic Agency

certifiedwerewolf:

darkshrimpemotions:

Actually Captain Jack Harkness is SO important. During a time when we couldn’t get a single queer on screen in most shows and even those few we did get ended up dead 90% of the time, he was not only openly bisexual, he was openly bisexual and LITERALLY unable to die.

They buried that gay and he still dug himself up and kept fucking

verdantvulpus:

gallusrostromegalus:

debellatis:

catchymemes:

This is…. Absurdly cute. What the fuck.

It’s worth noting that the reason the beaver wants the water to be deeper in the first place is that the Beaver is using the deep water as a pantry:

All summer and fall, beavers gather up branches with the leaves they actually eat, and store it in the deep end of the Pond, where the cold water and limited oxygen keep the leaves fresh all winter, so when it’s negative 20 outside, a beaver can take a dip out of it’s lodge, grab some refrigerated leaves in the (relatively) warmer water and go back to it’s cozy little nap hole while everything else is out there suffering and eating bark or the like.

So it’s less “there’s a leak in my house” and more “OH SHIT THE FRIDGE!!”

I’ll always reblog Beaver content.

charlottan:

using the wrong password and still being asked if i want to save it is like the most insulting thing. little wrong password baby do you wanna save your goddamn wrong password for all of eternity. you stupid idiot

galwednesday:

My apartment building has coin-op laundry in the basement, and on the shelf where people store detergent there are also just enough quarters to start one load in the washer. This is the collective “oh shit I forgot my quarters” bank that anyone can borrow from to start laundry without having to climb all the way back up the goddamn stairs first. These quarters have been steadily used and replaced for multiple years now, and every time I see them I think about how upon such small foundations rests all of human society.